Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Baby Zahn Update

Most of you know that Kourtney and I are expecting a baby this fall. I am about 6 weeks along. This past weekend I started bleeding on and off and yesterday I passed out at work and went to the Emergency Room. I waited in the ER for over 6 hours and never saw a doctor. After being told I was still at the bottom of the list and realizing that I wouldn't see a doctor until at least the middle of the night, I decided to try another ER. That was no success either. I ended up at an urgent care center at about 5:30 pm. They weren't set up for helping with pregnancy complications, so I left with no answers and no help all day. Kourtney and I were very frustrated, but I was able to get an appointment at my family care doctor's office today. They were extremely helpful and did some examinations and talked to me about my symptoms. They decided it was necessary to give me an ultrasound. During the ultrasound they saw 1 or 2 liquid sacs. They didn't really see anything in them, but said that doesn't mean that i'm not still pregnant and growing. They said there might even be twins! Because I'm not very developed they will have to wait until tomorrow to see the results of my blood test to see if the pregnancy growth hormone has gone up since Monday. If it has, then I should still be developing and they will do another ultrasound next week. If the levels have stayed the same or gone down, I probably have miscarried. Please pray that we will find something out very soon and God will give us peace whatever the outcome may be.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Things are about to change!

It's been a crazy season for us. It's funny how you know and anticipate things that are coming up, but it still hits you like a ton of bricks when it happens! In other words, the things you prepare for are nothing like what you expected them to be. That has happened repeatedly with several major events in our lives lately.

The first one is our church plant. You really try to keep the fact that God is always in control and sometimes he has different plans than you, but if something actually does happen that's out of your hands, you pretty much flip out. The past three weeks we have been put through the ringer and God has defintely changed our plans! This is when you are tested and realize that you can only put your hope and trust in the Lord and not man. Man will let you down. Things like this really make you (or at least me) question if you're strong enough to handle the ministry. I know in my own strength I am not. There are too many hurt feelings, feelings of betrayal, things that don't go even slightly like you had hoped and feelings of major inadequacy. This time can seem like the bleakest time, but it's the time when you can surrender your life and let God take control and know that he knew all of this before it happened and he's made a way for you to get through it. With that said and through all of the turmoil, God is still really working in Vintage and it's amazing to see new people that weekly e-mail or call to see about being a part of Vintage. We know He's holding this whole thing together and is working despite the odds against us. In the end we can praise God for the work that He is doing, all the while remembering that we need to get out of His way a little more each day and let HIM do the work!

Another HUGE change for us is finding out that we are going to be adding a little person to our family! It really came at an interesting time. During the emotional and spiritual heartache we've been experiencing God decided that it was the perfect time to give us a baby! What a blessing! We are so excited and there are times when I'm petrified about the news, but just like I said before, He knows everything before we do and He's going to be faithful through it all.

Even though our impending move has much to do with the church plant, it's still a huge change within itself! We'll be leaving sunny, dry days and trading them in for the rainy, but beautiful Spring ones. Thinking about moving home reminds me of how refreshing Spring is and how I feel such a sense of newness and rejuvination in the Lord. It's a cool thing to experience drastic season changes because it really does remind you of how God makes all things new and can take something cold and dead (like those Indiana winters) and turn them into beautiful, flowering, fragrant Spring! I am so excited for the thunderstorms, the birds chirping and the buds blooming. Not to mention fresh cut grass! Ah!