A Prime Example

Today, just two days into my new approach with my time with the Lord, He asked me to put the things He wants to teach me into practice. It was so interesting because I was consciously aware of what was going on! A friend called with some news that was exciting, yet made me a little jealous. This news concerns the very things that I want and I find the hardest to trust the Lord and His timing with. I think of all of the little details on why this or that won't work out in my life because of my circumstances. When I was allowing myself to sink into a depressive state and telling myself "of course that would happen to them, because they are living the life that I want and can't have," the Lord reminded me of the area in my life that He is working on right now. This area is trust and because of my nature, do I have a lot to entrust to Him! I have so many worries and doubts about the future and I knew right away that this area was where I needed to start allowing Him to work first. Very interesting how things are happening....

Trust

"Those who know your name trust in you for you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you." Psalm 9:10

"You heard their cries for help and saved them.  They put their trust in you and were never disappointed." Psalm 22:5

Looking Forward

These past few Sunday's have been bittersweet for me.  On one hand, I love Sunday because it's a day off, but on the other, Monday's daunt me because of my awaiting job.  I am trying to keep a positive outlook for this week.  I am mentally preparing myself to do the best job that I can at work in spite of how grueling it may seem.  I am also trying a new approach to my time with the Lord.  There are a few (major) areas in my spiritual life that could use some "tweaking."  Yesterday, I spent some time writing down what those areas were and journaling about how I will try to grow in those areas.  Each week I will concentrate on one area and read all the of the scripture regarding that issue that I can, read devotionals by different authors and anything else that I can think of that relates to that subject.  I hope to be able to share with you all at the end of the week about my progress.  Also, I plan on starting a prayer list to focus on people in my life that need prayer and also things that Kourtney and I are dealing with personally.  If  you read this blog, please pray for me, as well, that I might accomplish this and that I will grow through this time.

A picnic with Hayley

Hayley asked me the other day if I would like her to bring me lunch at work.  I, of course, had no objection to that for two obvious reasons: 1. I didn't have worry about making anything to bring and 2. I didn't have to buy anything.  Actually, thirdly, Hayley is a great cook, so I knew it would be better than what I would bring.  She brought some yummy veggie/pasta creation and some of our favorite - guacamole.  She also brought Guv (Governor) her mini English Bulldog puppy.  It's always nice to walk out the door of my office to a beautiful pond and have a picnic with my friend!

We still have a ghetto TV set up...

It starts with stealing Peter's night stand from beside his bed, his macbook, his guitar amp and then his bose radio.  Next we set the computer on the night stand, set the bose radio on top of the amp and then hook up a bunch of wires together.  We smush the computer and speakers as close to the couch as possible to be able to see the screen.  Then we all cuddle in, nice and cozy on the couch to watch a movie.  It will be real interesting when Matt and Bethany get here........ Weird.

My Walking Buddy

My friend Brenda and I have been trying to get out and walk/run together at least once per week.  This week she came down to our house and we took her dogs, Pixie and Abby, along the Rio Grande.  It was a blessing to have such a beautiful evening (it even rained a few drops!) and a great friend to walk with me!  She was testing out her new camping gear on the dogs.  How cute!  Our friendship has been such a blessing to me over the last few months.  We worked together at Bernard/Allison and always shared our challenges with each other.  It is neat that even though I don't work there anymore, our friendship has grown.  It is also such a cool thing that Brenda and her husband, Mic have been coming to Calvary for the past couple of months.  Again, what a blessing!

Comfort in the Lord

On my lunch break today, I read a daily devotion by Oswald Chambers. It was called "The Worship of the Work." It spoke to me right in the place where I'm at. I know the Lord is trying to break through this stagnant heart of mine. The devotional says this:

"Beware of any work for God which enables you to evade concentration on Him. A great many Christian workers worship their work. The one concern of a worker should be concentration on God, and this will mean that all the other margins of life, mental, moral and spiritual, are free with the freedom of a child, a worshipping child, not a wayward child. A worker without this solemn dominant note of concentration on God is apt to get his work on his neck; there is no margin of body, mind or spirit free, consequently he becomes spent out and crushed. There is no freedom, no delight in life; nerves, mind, and heart are so crushingly burdened that God's blessing cannot rest. But the other side is just at true - when once the concentration is on God, all the margins of life are free and under the dominance of God alone. There is no responsibility on you for the work; the only responsibility you have is to keep in living constant touch with God, and to see that you allow nothing to hinder your cooperation with Him. The freedom after sanctification is the freedom of a child, the things that used to keep the life pinned down are gone. But be careful to remember that you are freed for one thing only - to be absolutely devoted to your co-Worker. We have no right to judge where we should be put, or to have preconcieved notions as to what God is fitting us for. God engineers everything; wherever he puts us our one great aim is to pour out a whole-hearted devotion to Him in that particular work. "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might."

When Chambers expresses how burdened our lives get and how that causes no freedom, blessing or rest explains how I have felt lately. My mind and heart are saturated with worries, comparisons and unfaithfulness. I know the common analogy about how each of us was born with a "God-shaped hole" in our hearts and how only the Lord can fill it. I was thinking about how I feel like I'm still living with a hole and I haven't allowed God to completely fill mine. I desire to move past these spiritual battles that have fought in my soul for so long. I want these words to be true in my life: "I'm satisfied in you alone."

Frisbee Golf on a Beautiful Sunday Afternoon

Yesterday, Kourtney and I played a round of Frisbee Golf on a course we discovered a couple of weeks ago. This is one of Kourtney's favorite activities and he loved the challenge of a new course. Pictures will be up soon...

The End is just the Beginning....

I have officially completed one semester of college. It is an interesting feeling. On one hand I feel a sense of accomplishment and on the other, a sense of uncertainty. While I know that education is never a waste of time, the importance is it's completion. That completion is what makes me uncertain. At my pace, it will take at least 8 years for me to get a degree. So many things will happen in 8 years. The last 8 years of my life have held the greatest moments and the hardest moments. I wonder what the next will hold?